League Table 24.11.07

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MUNCH BUNCH GET FIRST WIN

MUNCH BUNCH II 2 - 0 WARPSTONE 13

(2 - 3 casualties)

An exciting game was promised by these two relatively inexperienced teams. The Munch Bunch II were desparate to get their first win of the season, after a disastrous game against Nights watch and a hard fought draw against Sapphire Dream in a game being known as one of the fastest played in the Albion League's recent history.

Things got off to a poor start for the Skaven as early in the first half as a Chaos beastman tackled a dodging gutter runner with the ball to the floor. The game then descended into a scrappy farce as players from both sides attempted to pick up the ball only to be knocked over. Finally beastman Sausage N' Mash compelted a mad scramble into the end zone. After the reset, Warpstone 13 made a brave attempt at a quick equaliser, but a surrounded gutter runner was unable to break through the lines. The Much Bunch II did not have it all their own way in the first half, as minotaur blitzer Colonel Sanders managed to badly injure himself trying to wrestle rat ogre Flossie.

With only 9 players on the pitch on each side, the second half was expected to be a messy affair. Indeed, a poor defensive setup by the Chaos lead to rat ogre Flossie charging straight down the middle of the pitch with surprising turn of speed at Sausage N' Mash who once again had the ball. Still despite the big guy rampaging through their half, the Munch Bunch managed to slowly get the ball forwards. Warpstone 13 attempted a serious of increasingly desperate dodging and blocking plays, all of which failed to stop the Chaos advance. At the last N'Mash sprinted forward to claim his second touchdown.

Controversy hit hard in the closing moment of the match as the Skaven, upset at the loss, knocked over a beastman then proceeded to kick his head in. The rats then scuttled off the pitch, leaving the unfortunate mutant dead. Witnesses say Head Coach Crowe of the Munch Bunch was seen to throw a strop, shouting "You b******!" at the Skaven coach and hurling nearby objects onto the pitch.

- report by Simon Crowe

League Table 14th November

League Update

Breadcrumb Trail Caught in Time Rift

Having recently made the treacherous voyage across the Sea of Claws to Albion, Wasteland Skaven team The Breadcrumb Trail were looking forward to improving their skills in the latest Blood Bowl league. Their first fixture was against the human team 'Scissor Sisters' and head coach Reegesk Pitspine (a familiar name to long-time Blood Bowl fans) was hopeful. After some pre-match delays caused by an unfamiliar stadium, the humans kicked off, but it soon became evident that both sides' players were rather out of practice. A midfield punch-up ensued, something a neophyte Skaven team never looks forward to, during which a curious mist descended on the teams. Through the fog, Gutter Runner Itzit of Clan Eshin managed to score for the Skaven, making a spirited dash for the endzone. The humans couldn't find a way through the Skaven defence for the rest of the match. The Breadcrumb Trail capitalised midway through the second half by extracting the ball from a scrum and throwing it long to the awaiting Itzit for a second touchdown. The bizarre fog remained.

As the teams were leaving the pitch, head coach Pitspine looked at his warpstone pocketwatch and was amazed to discover that five hours had passed! It seems that the mysterious mist had deleteriously affected time in such a way that the match had taken twice as long as usual. Indeed, many of the 11,000 fans could be found dozing gently in their seats; others had quietly expired of boredom. Pitspine himself was noticeably upset, explaining to reporters that he had now missed a dinner appointment at a popular local cheese restaurant and commenting "I could have played a game of Die Macher in less time!" The Skaven skulked off...

The team's second fixture was an impromptu match against 'The Warriors', a Norse team of some repute. This correspondent has reason to believe that the match only took place as an excuse for the Norse coach to avoid other responsibilities; of course, the Skaven could not resist playing such a cheesy team. The strange haze once again descended upon kick-off, dragging play out for the Norsemen and seemingly tempting the Skaven into unconsciousness. In interview later, Pitspine revealed his suspicions that the Norse coach may have been responsible for creating the mist, or hiring a bearded northern shaman to do so, but these claims remain unsubstantiated. Whatever the source was, it had a remarkable effect on the Skaven game, unsettling the players and making them forget what they had learned in training.

They managed to pull together a reasonable defence in the first half, with the help of a pit trap dug by a bribed groundsman (later eaten). The Norsemen were unable to score on their offensive drive, but had taken so many Skaven off the pitch that a reasonable offence in return seemed unlikely. And so it was to prove, with every minute ticking ponderously by another rat would leave the field. A quick retaliation attempt here and there had little effect as the Warriors made their leisurely way towards the Breadcrumb Trail endzone.

With time still left in the second half, the Skaven made a swift retreat and scuttled out of the stadium back to their underground lair, accompanied by a flurry of bickering and foul language. It is believed they were attempting to call upon the powers of the Verminlord Sulk. Meanwhile, the Norsemen carried on regardless, beating up members of the crowd in the absence of any Skaven, their berserker rage giving them scant concern for touchdowns. Pitspine was disappointed: "It's nothing like the frenetic pace I'm used to," the MA11 ex-Gutter Runner with Sprint remarked later. "I can think of better things I'd rather spend my time on, like having my fangs extracted."

We contacted noted Imperial anthropozoologist, Doktor Attenburg, to see if he could shed more light on the Skaven behaviour. He told us, "Skaven are comparatively short-lived creatures, even before they embark on a career in Blood Bowl. They are mostly unaccustomed to spending a long time on any given activity. In particular, the young and impetuous Skaven who make up the majority of their race's Blood Bowl players are manic and fast-paced in everything they do. Forcing them to slow down can cause them to falter and this can be their downfall."

At the time of press, Pitspine's intentions as to the future of the team were unclear.

- Report by Rich Pingree

Wasps Sting Mash !

WASPS STING MASH!

Mootland Wasps 1 – 0 Monster Mash

The Mootland Wasps stunned the Albion League by picking up a narrow victory over newly formed Monster Mash. After the Wasps opening game left them with only 8 fit players, 3 journeymen and Legendary “Star” Player Puggy Baconbreath were drafted into the side, and they didn’t disappoint. It was clear early on that the weaker members had been weeded out in the previous game, as this group of Halflings simply wouldn’t stay down.

The Wasps received the kick off through the driving rain and Baconbreath set to work, leading from the front and taking on the Undead down their right flank. This created a gap for journeyman Ludy Lilywhite to sprint downfield into open space. With the Monster Mash diverting their efforts to treeman Brambleclaw Strangebark, captain Pipper Kettlebright was free to find space on the left, and toss the ball out to Lilywhite. Despite the slippery ball, Lilywhite was able to hang onto it, and without a Monster Mash player in sight, the Halfling casually strolled into the end zone to put the Wasps ahead by one. A stunning kick-off saw the ball come to rest in the Mash’s own end zone, leaving them with not enough time to get the ball back down the field to score before halftime.

After a half-time pitch invasion, the game re-started with the ball kicked to the necromantic side, with Baconbreath being thrown down the field to put some up early pressure. However, he was quickly sent to the KO’d box, but the Ghoul player receiving simply couldn’t get hold of the wet ball. With time ticking away the Halflings simply stayed out of trouble until finally a Mash werewolf found some open field with the ball in his hand, and sprinted for the end zone. It took three Halflings to bring him down, and amazingly the Wasps came up with the ball. In a similar play to the first half, the Wasps had a receiver downfield but this time couldn’t get the ball to him. With the pitch now a muddy quagmire, neither team could get hold of the ball. The Mootland players threw themselves in the way in some desperate defending until the final whistle, giving them a memorable victory. The 19000 Wasps fans will be dancing in the streets of the Moot tonight!

- report by Lee

Latest League Table

LEAGUE ROUNDUP

AN UNREMARKABLE DREAM

Sapphire Dream 2 OPB 3

Veteran Bloodbowl owner Duncan Railton entered the league on Saturday with new elf team Sapphire Dream, hoping to recapture the glory won by previous champions Phoenix Phantoms and Parravon Pinheads. However in their opening match the elves showed they have a lot to learn if they are to challenge for silverware this season. The match started with the dark elves, owned by John Harris and coached by the one and only Poncey Pointy Eared Nonce, scoring quickly on their posession with the Elves equalising in almost the same time.

By half time however the unpronouncable QPB had taken the lead, sensibly scoring late on in the half to deny Sapphire Dream any chance of equalising. During this drive the warning signs that all was not well became apparent as poor blocking and woeful dodging led to the dark elves easiest touchdown of the season.

After the break, as the elves tried to bring the game back to 2-2 the team suddenly fell apart and poor blocking and even worse dodging saw the Sapphire Dream thrower wide open. QPB quicly took advantage, turning the elves over and making it 3-1 in short shrift. At the end of the match the elves did manage a spell of competent play to pull the score back to 3-2 but by then the damage had already been done.With a 2-0 win over the horde team Night's Watch QPB now have 2 wins under their belt and look likely to be one of the main contenders this season while Sapphire Dream badly need a win to get their season up and running.

DESTINY OF DEATH!

No-one really knew what to expect from the unknown Norse team Valhallan Destinies when they turned up to the Peaks stadium on Saturday and few commentators would have thought that the slightly dishevelled looking players would have become headline news after their two matches. The first saw them pitted against rookie lizardman team "Lightning Lizards". By half time, with the score at 3-0 to the norse the stadium suddenly saw a large increase in fans as everyone wondered if something special was about to happen.

That game ended 5-0, much to the neutral fans' approval, and as the lizardmen walked dejectedly off the pitch to their next game, the crowd watched with pent up excitement as the Mootland Wasps took to the pitch.The Wasps had pedigree, coming third in the prestigious (?) Stunty cup, featuring a range of teams made up of "little guys". This however was the Albion league.

It is hard to desribe what happened in the next hour, as the Destinies rattled home a 3-1 victory. Piles of halflings lay haphazardly around the pitch in bloody heaps and at the final count the norse had killed two, seriously injured six and badly hurt another four! Some quick record checking confirmed that the norse had equalled the Albion League all time casualty record, set by the Legion of Death back in '97! Top of the league and with a reputation of destruction, the Destinies are now the ones to watch in the ABBL!

LEAGUE ROUNDUP

A number of games took place in the Forge Stadium Complex this week with eleven teams completing their games and entering the league. This didn't include Norse By Norsewest or One More Time Again however, who failed to finish their match which had got to half time during the week! The league commissioner, Dave Bone, was unruffled, saying "Its up to them to sort it out".

Dave Bone's team made a good start to the league too, beating the goblins, Dodge Boot, and destroying the Red Rippas who may be forced to return under a different name! Dodge Boot then went on to earn a creditable draw against the Warriors. Matt Cooper, veteran coach was certainly not impressed with his norse team at the end of the game.

Warpstone 13 made a return to the league by narrowly beating the rather competent looking dwarf outfit Karak Norn Blitzers. However the skaven team once again failed to return the league trophy which they have been hoarding since they won it in '04! The win takes them into the top half amongst the other teams with a 100% win record. Still, only one team has played three, the nurgle team That's a Good Question, so there is still plenty of time for upsets and surprises in the ABBL autumn '07 season.

First League Table!